BEHIND!!!

Well it seems to be the story of my life lately.
Behind.
Actually I haven’t posted b/c I’ve been too upset to post anything.
The deal we had going that we have wasted three fuckin’ months on (again) to sell the old house went into the garbage. Fuckin’ SBA. I tell ya, they have to be so friggin’ difficult. Well they are the reason that the deal didn’t go through and now we are back to square one. We’ve got about three to four weeks to get that piece of shit sold before the other house is done. Sista here cannot afford two mortgage payments. I can’t even be excited about the new house b/c I’m stressing so much about the old one.

Hell, if it wasn’t for the effexor and the xanex that I am currently on, I’d be carried away in a straight jacket and sent to a padded room.

I swear.

And I wanna be soooo excited about the house. I really do, I wanna look forward to it and how its going to look and how its going to feel to walk around naked in it for the first month b/c I’ll finally be in my own house. To sit in the craft room and create, to have the kiddos be in their own space. To bake in my own fuckin’ kitchen. But I can’t. I can’t b/c I’m afraid I’m not going to get it in the end. That all this hard work, all this time, all the money, all the frustration of picking everything out (and boy lemme tell ya, if you’ve never built a house before, don’t….you don’t realize how much bullshit needs to be picked out and how exhausting it is).

I’m trying to be positive, but ya’ll have no idea how hard that is. I’m a worrier. I can’t live in just today. I always worry about tomorrow, next week, next month. I can’t live in the moment. I wish I could. Seriously. Maybe that would make life a lil bit easier for me. It sucks being a worrier.

But anyway, those that are interested in the going-ons with the new house, they laid the tile in the kitchen, dining room, and foyer. Looks gorgeous (from what we could see, me and mike stopped by Saturday night after eating at the shed {yum!} and it was raining and dark, so the only light we had was from the headlights). They do however have to rip out the foyer tile. Our contractor does a design in each foyer and the friggin’ people off-centered it so it looks pretty bad and big-daddy kris (owner of company) said that it needs to be ripped out and redone (yay! That should give us an extra day to sell the house).

So that’s whats going on with us. Aside from baseball practices, fixing a couple of things in the old house, preparing for dance recitals, trying not to buy any scrap goodies, picking out light fixtures, deciding on furniture, stressing about money, dealing with two kiddos who never seem to have enough and always want more (geesh! Can anyone else relate?), spring break, fish fry’s at work, making sure that bills are paid on time (eek!).

Sounds like fun huh?