Tuesday, January 24, 2006
SELF PORTRAIT TUESDAY PART 6!!!
this week i chose a picture of my grandparents (with a splash of me) at their 50th anniversary party. i haven't seen this picture in quite some time. i discovered it again tonight when i was looking for the perfect picture for this weeks spt.
both of my grandparents have passed, and since then they both enter my mind at least once a day. the strange thing is i dream about their house at least once a week. sometimes they are there, sometimes, it has nothing to even do with them, but the house is present.
i often wonder why i dream of their house and try to think of what their house means to me. i really can't put my finger on it. i did love that house and loved being there. their house represented loads of fun (a ton of people, a pinball machine, air hockey, atari, a pool table. talk about a good time).
i love my grandparents dearly and in the past year (esp. since the dreams) i think of all the things i missed out on while they were still living and the things we could share together if they were still around today:
*having my grandma show me how to cook all of her favorite recipes.
*learning more about my grandpa's side of the family (i was always obsessed with my grandma's italian heritage).
*letting my grandma teach me how to crochet.
*really, really listening to the things they were saying.
*saying "i love you" more (they were not the type to express this type of emotion in words).
*them meeting their first great-granddaughter.
*sending my grandma handmade goodies by me and the kiddos.
but maybe i really shouldn't dwell on these type of things and think of the memories that i do have with them of the things we did share together:
*they did get to meet their first great-grandson and they were overwhelmed with joy and happiness.
*my grandma writing me little letters in italian when i was trying to teach myself in highschool.
*knowing that whenever i see a coke product i will immediately think of my grandpa.
*feeling as if i was really my grandma's favorite grandchild and had a special bond with her even though i never really lived close enough to be physically by her all the time.
*every 4th of july i think of my grandpa and his love of fireworks.
my grandparents will always be with me and that is something that makes me very happy. i'm glad that i have these memories of them and hope that my children will be interested in hearing about them one day.